Jedi Master vs Web Master
The first time I came across the word ‘WebMaster’ I did not know what to think. What came to mind is Jedi Master. Is a webmaster some mysterious cloaked super being that controls information? An all powerful, behind the scenes, manipulator of the web. Is the webmaster watching me now? These were the kind of thoughts running through my head when I saw the word webmaster at the bottom of a website.
Lately I have become a webmaster. I quickly discovered that webmaster simply means the person who is responsible for the website. I have found that the term is misleading. A webmaster is absolutely nothing like a Jedi Master. There is no comparison.
As a webmaster I feel more like a service droid then a Jedi Master. If I were to put a web cam in my room here is what you would see the webmaster doing:
- You will notice that instead of living in a dank cave surrounded by all sorts of potions and dusty books, most of my time is spent in the spare room. The walls are egg white and there is a plastic red flower in the corner. When there are visitors at the house I get kicked out and am forced to perform my magic at the kitchen table.
- You might see me getting extremely aggravated as I spend hours trying to find out why an 30×30 pixel image is not aligning to the left. It is a stupid little image that will not move over 5 pixels. Move, damn you, move. It is a fight that can last all day. For an hour I might be wining – it moves over 2 pixels, but then two hours later I can be loosing terribly – the image is gone. It is a battle that takes all my powers, but absolutely nothing like the one between Luke and Vader.
- Every 20 minutes I am tempted by the dark side of the force. A temptation that I always give in to. The need to check my visitor stats. I know they have not changed much and there is no need to check. Once a day is enough. But the force is strong. If I was a budding new Jedi I would probably turn to the dark side right after Yoda serves me soup.
- In the summer I am in my boxers and t-shirt. The shirt might have remnants of supper from the night before. In winter I wear my fuzzy yellow slippers and have a blanket across my lap. I have been searching ebay for a big brown hooded cloak (like Obi One Kenobi’s) which would be ideal for those really cold days.
- Lot of time is spent on forums. Since it is a great way to bring attention to the website. Although usually a tedious task, it gets interesting when I need to figure out which smiley to use. There are so many to choose from. I need to make sure that the proper meaning is received by the reader. Deciding on the right one sometimes takes all my mind powers. Quite unlike Obi One Kenobi who with the wave of his hand can convince the guards that “these are not the droids you are looking for”.
- My arm always hurts. The motion of moving between keyboard and mouse, and then back again can be very stressing. This action does not seem like much, but doing it over and over again causes pain. And the sharp edges at the end of the table pinch my wrists – after a full day of typing it can become crippling. Luke was able to defeat Vader even after his hand was cut off.
Web Master <> Jedi Master