Warning – Do Not Be Surprised By Reality Again

Written On Day: 287

The First Time You Were Surprised By Reality

Perfect love in a bed of roses

Around puberty you begin to think about love.  Not the love for your mother or bone fetching friend Rusty.  You think about being in love.  Meeting that special someone to share your life with.  Walks in the park, smiles across a crowed room, tingles in the stomach, kissing as you suck a single strand of spaghetti.  You lay in your bed, stare at the ceiling and daydream about being in love.

Also around puberty you become inundated by the mass media machine.  Movies, music, books, and paintings.  You read books about eternal love, listen to songs about true love, watch movies that end with  ‘and they lived happily every after’,  your favorite picture is of a couple feeding each other grapes under a large oak tree.  The concept of love, how beautiful it is, how perfect it is, how eternal it is, forms in your young mind.

You cannot wait to be in love.  Everything will be perfect.

And then it happens.  You find somebody.  It is exciting – just like your favorite song said it would be.  Always smiling and skipping – everything just like in the movies.

Unfortunately you do not live in Disneyland – things do not end happily ever after.  Reality suddenly  arrives with a kick in the crotch.  Just knocks down the door and storms in, no knock, no ‘can I come in?’.  Love turns out nothing like you though it would be; like they told you it would be.  Instead of butterflies and rainbows there are slaps and flying dishes.  There is jealousy, pain, doubt and sometimes lawyers.  Cupid’s arrow hits the pulmonary artery and causes internal bleeding. 

Fortunately you are older now.  Now you know that mass media simply doles out what people want to hear.  Songs about love eternal sell.  Movies that end with happily ever after sell.  Paintings of couples embracing in the sunset sell.  Perfect love is not real but it sells.

Now you know better.  Your expectations about love are more realistic.  Hearing a song about love eternal causes the eyes to roll instead of the heart to swell.  Teens walk out of the movie theater with tears in their eyes, you are holding your mouth trying not to laugh.

Surprised By Reality Again

One day browsing the internet you come across a website that catches your attention.  A big flashy header, ‘Start your own blog today!’, it is easy, make lots of money, be famous.  You start getting excited.  This is exactly what you have been looking for.  To write and be famous.  To work from home and make lots of money.  To sit on the beach with your laptop and a martini.  You lay in your bed, stare at the ceiling and daydream about being a blogger.

The more you look into it the better it gets.  There are so many successful blogs out there – everybody is doing it.  And the best part is that it is so easy.  All you need to do is write a couple paragraphs everyday.  Visitors will adore your writing, they will tell their friends, your blog will have thousands of visitors in a matter of months.  No more nine to five at the office, goodbye idiot boss, time to get off your knees begging for a bonus.  Everything will be great – you will be a rich blogger.

Like a giddy little school girl on the first day of class, you start blogging.

Six month later you are a bitter old man feeding pigions in the park, cursing the cruel world with an occasional shake of the fist.  Without asking to come in, reality barged through the door again.  Writing everyday is not as easy as you expected.  You only have 50 visitors a day.  Instead of thousands of dollars you have hundreds of pennies.  Most of your time is spent deleting spam.  You dread the boring promotional tasks that need to be done everyday: commenting on blogs, writing articles, adding links to directories.  Being a blogger is nothing like you thought it would be.  It is hard work with little reward.

You were fooled by mass media again.  Stories of people making thousands of dollars a month.  Websites claiming that you can have a successful blog by working only a few hours a week.  Blogs claiming that all you need to do is buy their ebook and in no time you will be making a living from home.  They make these claims because they sell.

Now you know better.  Again.

Real Love, Real Blogger

Real love requires patience, persistence and hard work – so does being a successful blogger.

  1. October 15th, 2009 at 16:04 | #1

    Cracking post Roman, and so very, very true. In my view every blogger hit’s what I call “The Wall” at some point. It’s when the newness has worn off, you’re still working like a dog, and you’re not earning any money. The good news? If you do plough on (assuming you have some talent) you seem to reach a pivot point where you do start earning some decent money. And once you get there, it can go up by large percentages every month. The bad news? The workload doesn’t seem to get any smaller, you still have to do all the promotional tasks, and you still have to keep writing!

    I’m not sure I ever believed in the “On the beach with my laptop fantasy” but I didn’t know I’d have to work this hard! Having said that, I have no regrets.

  2. October 16th, 2009 at 15:31 | #2

    Great article. The way you write is simple, straight, dry, humourous and quite unusual.
    But the most important thing is your absolute honesty. I don’t know any blog that writes like that. And I don’t trust any blog like that.
    Keep going and thanks for your work.

  3. Lebowski
    October 18th, 2009 at 00:04 | #3

    This business of making money blogging by blogging about how to make money with a blog is a dead end. It’s a tiny self serving market and only the players that entered at the beginning and have reaped the network effects of the first to market advantage can succeed.

    The only people that are going to visit this site are other people who have the same mindset as you. That being a lazy cheapskate trying to get the most for the least. That means that they’re definitely not going to spend any money when they come to this site and they don’t come here with the intent to read through your posts with concentration so they can learn from your wisdom. Most people, I presume, just come here so they somehow use your site to increase their own traffic.

    I suggest you move to the mass market, go after the average Joe, the unwashed, the man on the street per se. The first thing you should do is cut down your content. Yes that’s right, less is more. Nobody has the time, patience nor concentration to read through paragraph upon paragraph of your insights on blogging and life. The minute your average Joe sees a paragraph with sentences and big words he’s going to flip over to the next page like a child who’s offered a carrot in a candy store.

    Put up some hard hitting pics, a few boob babes, people in humiliating situations, slapstick comedy etc. Try to add some pulsating “click me” buttons that hypnotically flash bright orange and yellow. And for heaven’s sake don’t have any content that requires anymore than having an IQ of 80 to comprehend. You should use small words and write in point form. For example, 7 guaranteed ways to have a girlfriend by tomorrow, 5 sure fire ways to make a million dollars a month, 10 secrets the CIA does not want you to know etc.

  4. October 18th, 2009 at 17:10 | #4


    Lots of good points in your comment. Obviously I have to disagree with all of them.

    Lets start with the cheapshot – “being a lazy cheapskate trying to get the most for the least.”. I think you missed the whole point of this website. This website does not make lots of money, actually it has made just over $500 dollars. $500 dollars in 9 months with a total of 459 hours work; that makes me uneconomical and possibly stupid, but definitely not lazy and trying to get the ‘most for the least’. But I see your point – people with no experience in making money online think that it is an easy way to make money. The point of this website is to show that that is not true. Visitors who come to this website looking for easy way to make money online will be sourly disappointed.

    You suggest that I try to go for the mass market – a market that caters to the simple wants of people: slapstick, easy to comprehend, booby babes etc. You are correct, this is a big market. But as you must know, in all market economies supply equals demand. There is a higher demand for the low brow things in life and so the market provides the supply. The competition is high for that market. It is really hard to get your foot in the door. It appears lucrative but it is not due to the high competition.

    This of course, applies to all markets. It does not matter which market you enter. Supply will meet demand. So as a new comer you always have to start at the bottom. To use your term – every market is ‘dead’. As a new comer you need to start at the bottom and slowing work your way up. It takes time and hard work but it can be done – it has been done many times before. The only way to avoid this ‘enter at the bottom’ problem is to create your own market. Come up with something new and hope that a market exists for it. Which is harder?: 1) work you way up an existing market 2) create your own market. I do not know, but until I come up with a way to create a new market I am forced to try to climb up an existing one.

    To say that the make money with a website market is dead is to also say that the open up a mini mart is dead. There are already so many mini marts – one on every corner. How can you make money with a mini mart? You can – new mini marts open every day. You just need to be a little unique, cater to a sub market. You can try to compete for the mass market and sell Slurpees and candy bars, but you can get a slight competitive advantage buy focusing on a sub niche – for example, selling only foreign candy bars. But regarless what you choose to sell at the mini mart the problem will be the same. If you cater to the masses then competition will be high, if you focus on a niche product then the demand will be low. Only solution: open a mini mart and see what works best.

    I know that I am working in a diluted market. There are 100’s of make money online sites, but I am trying to cater to people like you. I do not know exactly what your likes and interests are but you do seem to enjoy this site – after all you are one of my top commentors. Hopefully there are enough people like you out there that I can finally start making some money.

  5. October 19th, 2009 at 19:40 | #5

    Wow, that comment above is crazy. I beg to differ. This post is a fantastic piece of writing. Whilst it might not be what everyone else is doing, I always remember your website for it’s unique style. Your comparison in this post is so true. Too many people give up too early, expect it to be rosy and then bail when it gets hard. Working through that and being determined, through the good and the bad, is what gets people to their point of success. Like with love, when you come out at the other side of a bad patch it’s so easy to see that it was worth it. Hopefully it’s the same with blogging 🙂

    By the way, I left your blog an award in my latest post – precisely for the kinds of posts like this one! They are brilliant.

  6. October 26th, 2009 at 03:25 | #6

    It’s obviously Lebowski hasn’t read this whole website…you’re anything but lazy, my friend! I have really appreciated your honesty when you get frustrated, it’s refreshing. 🙂

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